Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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