You're so nebulous sometimes
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
