that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
