we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize