White coat. Heels.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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