You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
