he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
