he wants to bone in the snuggie
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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