I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
