I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Oh god it's open bar.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Text me some of your sweat
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
