I accidentally burped into my bong.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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