is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just took my morning after pill in the library
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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