I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
