Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Randomize
