after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
