don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
