my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
