Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
