I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
This is classic penis vs brain.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
