i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
