My nipple is on Facebook.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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