Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
