Having a random hookup so left but love u
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
