nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize