i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
two words: eviction party
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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