It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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