Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
