Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
