If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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