He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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