He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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