It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize