He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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