I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
