yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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