just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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