just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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