Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
