Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize