i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
