I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
