What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
