Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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