dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
