do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Oh god it's open bar.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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