I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
