we have officially lost it.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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