who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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