so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
