Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
