Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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